When you feel like breaking
by Hyper Vongola Decimo
Summary: "Ever since the day they met, Rivaille kept close tabs on everything Eren Jaeger did. Part of the reason for it was his promise to kill the boy if he was ever to pose a threat to humanity. But another part was something he couldn't name properly. Something that stirred his mind and left him restless long into the night." Rivaren THE SEQUEL IS UP


A/N: So I wrote up a little something to satisfy my SnK feelings. Sorry it's not the Thrill I promised, I'll post it in the near future, next week maybe. So yup, here you go Rivaille and Eren ^^

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Ever since the day they met, Rivaille kept close tabs on everything Eren Jaeger did. Part of the reason for it was his promise to kill the boy if he was ever to pose a threat to humanity. But another part was something he couldn't name properly. Something that stirred his mind and left him restless long into the night.

If he had to guess, Rivaille would say it was that uncanny mixture between hatred and innocence. The rage and bloodlust he saw in the brat's eyes was so strong, it made his own veins sing with excitement at the prospect of killing. And then he saw this angelic smile, bright and sparkling with happiness, which puzzled him. How could anyone harbour such contradictory emotions? The answer to this question came unexpectedly one night shocking him to the core.

Rivaille sighed with resignation, signing yet another request for new 3D manoeuvre gear. Dropping the pen, he rubbed his eyes tiredly. It was already past the time he should be in bed fast asleep. Stifling a yawn he glared at the file of unread documents. Even if he'd spent the whole night in here, he'd still have about a half to check in the morning. Being a Lance Corporal was no fun and bunnies.

Deciding to push some of his work on Hanji, he got out of his chair, stretching his rusty bones. Maybe tomorrow he should do an inspection and see how much progress his squad made with hand to hand combat. He took his jacket from the back of the chair and decided to retire for the night. Throwing it over his shoulder, he grabbed the lamp from the desk and headed for the door.

Closing it quietly, he froze, feeling something move in the darkness of the corridor. All his senses went from clouded with sleep to kill-all-the-titans mode in milliseconds. He could hear the light tapping of the boots against the stones and the quiet, barely audible breathing. Turning off the lamp, he waited until his eyes readjusted to the moonlight and slowly set down his jacket and the lamp. Who could be walking through the castle this late at night? And in complete darkness, nonetheless. Trying not to make any sound, he got close to the corner when the person in question walked right past him, not even noticing his presence.

Rivaille raised an eyebrow in surprise. What was the brat doing outside of his room? Why wasn't he sleeping? Seeing the kid take yet another corner, he decided to follow him. What was he up to? It didn't seem as if he tried to get some water, since he was going to the unoccupied part of the castle. Was he trying to escape? Rivaille quickly dismissed that idea. If he really tried to do it, he would be in more of a hurry than he was now. It almost seemed like a pleasurable stroll, but who the fuck takes those after midnight?

With sheer power of will, he suppressed the urge to 'tch' with irritation. He should be in his own bed, sleeping soundly and not following stupid titan brats on a tour around the castle they called headquarters. Even the paperwork seemed more appealing than this. On the other hand though, he couldn't leave the boy unsupervised. It would be disastrous if he chose that moment to turn into a freaking monster and kill them all in their sleep.

Irritation level spiking another notch, Rivaille finally noticed their destination. They were at the bottom of the staircase leading to the top of the watchtower. He made his way up the stairs faster. Could it be that the kid really wanted to escape? Turn into a titan at the top and them run away? Stopping before the door that led outside, Rivaille strained his hearing. For a good few seconds there was nothing and the iron hand of dread caught his insides in a steely hold. What if he already escaped?

He quickly opened the door, taking in his surroundings in one sweep of eyes. A sudden jump of the silhouette near the battlements didn't escape his notice. Rivaille decided to wait until the boy turned to face him, before starting his interrogation, but when the seconds of silence turned into minutes, his irritation reached the bearable limit.

'What are you doing here in the middle of the night, you shitty brat?' he tried to curb his emotions under control, but the lack of sleep nearly stripped him of all his self-control.

The boy's shoulders slumped, Rivaille saw the muscles tense up and his own responded similarly, preparing for an attack. It didn't come, though. Slowly, the silhouette before him relaxed and turned his way. Tears streaming down the brat's face glistened in the bright moonlight, and Rivaille was frozen in shock. It was the first time he saw the boy cry. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks wet and reddened with a blush.

They looked at each other for a long time, everything seemingly insignificant compared to the tears staining the younger's face. When his conscience honoured him with a kick he himself wouldn't be ashamed of, Rivaille sighed, letting go of his irritation. He closed the previously forgotten door and stepped closer to the boy.

'What happened?' he stopped at the kid's side, focusing his eyes on the horizon, in order not to look at him, as he tried to wipe off the tears.

The laugh that came out of the teen's mouth shocked him even more than those tears. It was full of fake happiness, nearly hysterical joy mixed with heart wrenching madness that had all of Rivaille's senses scream at him in alarm. 'Life happened, sir,' even though the brat tried to stop them, the tears still rolled down his cheeks. 'Did you really think there was no price to my never ending naiveté and happy smiles?' the expression that appeared on the kid's face was a real smile, showing his true feelings, his broken heart, his lost youth.

'No,' Rivaille answered, taking his eyes off of the boy and looking out into the night. 'No, I didn't.'

A silence that befell between them wasn't uncomfortable, he noticed. It was very heavy and pregnant with unnamed emotions, but because none of them said anything about them, they were able to stand side by side without feeling oppressed. Rivaille sensed more than saw the change in the brat. His breathing evened, hands stopped wiping away the tears, body ceased trembling.

'C-Corporal,' his voice was still hoarse and shaky, the man noticed, facing him. 'We should probably go to sleep, it's the middle of the night, after all.'

He sent Rivaille a strained smile, so fake that he had half a mind to punch it out of the brat's mouth. But he didn't, restraining himself because being a leader of a squad wasn't all about killing the titans. It was more about providing safety and support to the people who trusted him with their lives. And the kid needed just that.

Seeing that he started to walk away, Rivaille sighed. He raised his hand, catching the boy by the elbow and twirling him effortlessly in his direction. One more tug and he had him in his arms. Cursing his height in the safety of his mind, he sighed again. The floor was dirty and the moss will leave stains, but there was no other way. Rivaille suppressed a shiver of disgust.

'C-Corporal, wha- what are you doing?' the brat's voice was coming from around ten centimetres above his head, which made a vein pop on his forehead from irritation.

'Shut up,' he growled out, sweeping the teen's legs from under him with a precise kick.

'Wha-!' catching the boy, Rivaille slid down the wall, holding him close on his lap. Bringing his hand up, he placed it at the back of the kid's neck. He pushed his head forward, propping it on his own shoulder. 'C-Corporal, wha-'

'Shh,' he whispered in the brat's ear. 'Cry.'

The body he held froze, not even a breath ghosting on the boy's lips. Rivaille sighed once again, supporting his head on the wall and moving his hand to soft, brown locks. He started to gently comb his fingers through them, closing his own eyes. Slowly, the weight on his lap shifted, more of it leaning on his chest. The tensed up muscled relaxed and the suppressed trembling came back with full force. Two strong arms circled around him, hands gripping his shirt as if it was the last thing that could save humanity. Looking up at the moon and not stopping the gentle caress of the boy's head, Rivaille made his decision.

'I will always be here for you,' he said, his voice strong, but also warm and soft, so different from the usual. 'So when you feel like breaking, come to me.'

The brat didn't speak, he just tightened his grip and clung to him harder. To Rivaille that was enough of an answer. And maybe he should start calling the boy by his name. Eren, huh…

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Okay, so that's all folks! ;) I hope you liked it? Please give me some feedback~ Especially if I caught Rivaille's character right, because I feel like there's something off, dunno. Sooo... Review, please~


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